Protective Gear for Yourself - Have you ever watched an awesome POV scene with spitting, pissing, smoking, ashtray play, whatever? Who do you think is on the other end of that camera grabbing that footage? A creep just like you who likes this stuff? No, it's me. And I happen to have very sensitive sinus cavities and all that smoke and spit isn't helping. Also, what's the latest update on second hand smoke? Super bad for you? Not statistically significantly bad for you? Paradoxically good for you?? What am I talking about? Oh, right, protect yourself. Goggles, rain coat, hospital mask. As a bonus, you'll look real cool, too, so everyone on set will want to make friends with you.

Protective Gear for your Camera - Your camera is your eye. A big, plastic, rectangular, protruding eye that is quite disproportionate to your body. You should really go get that fixed. But until then, protect it against bodily fluids, electricity, and accidental whip lashings so it doesn't break and you can keep getting great footage for us. Because that's all that really matters in the end. I don't care about your stupid weird plastic eye.

Nonslip Shoes - with all the lube used during shoots and all the piss Dommes drench the subs in, some of it is bound to land on the floor. That's why the floors tend to be preeetty slippery. Don't make it worse for yourself by wearing sandals or heels, you freak. Why would you even consider wearing heels? That's just not practical. Lemme tell ya, we have collected enough footage of all the slips and falls of the Dommes in the past year to release a BDSM Shoot Bloopers DVD. And we just might. Look out for it at a Blockbuster near you! (Ed note: do people still go to Blockbuster?)

Paper Towels and Alcohol Spray on hand - with all the crazy germy activities that go on here, this one's a given. If I had a penny for every time I forgot to grab paper towels and alcohol spray before a scene only to end up seriously regretting my decision, I wouldn't care because I hate pennies! Don't even bring up pennies to me - I will flip out.

And if you're really into this stuff - a Jock Strap for your Junk. You don't want any evidence of a boner poking through. The director will think you're a creep and never hire you again except to write a blog entry giving prospective videographers helpful tips, and the Dommes will most definitely make fun of you. While you might be into that sort of humiliation, remember, you're there to do a job, not to get your submissive urges fulfilled for free. Do that on your own time, perv.

So, there ya go. Hope this helps the tens of people out there dreaming about such a profession.